I loved getting this photo into my email inbox this morning, accompanied by the question ‘Naomi: want to love your body in just 4 weeks?’ It spoofed the many such questions that pepper women’s magazine covers, and promise total transformation in much-longed-for ways, in lightning speed.
I work as a coach and therapist specialising in helping women feel greater peace, love, and ease within their relationship to food and their bodies. I find that blocks to love in this area often lead women to feel blocked in other areas too, such as creativity, intimacy, financial safety, sufficiency, and peace.
In my own journey of growing to adore my body, I embarked on an examination of the wide variety of influences that had damaged my body image over a lifetime. I found I had picked up messages – ‘shoulds’ – from society, culture, school and uni, friendship groups, family, and those handed down to me from past generations … ‘shoulds’ about how to look in order to be loved, sexually desired, and even taken care of financially.
I gradually learned to negotiate some space from with my own (sometimes vicious!) critical part who spat out words like ‘fat’, ‘greedy’, and ‘ugly’, or whispered them in my ear when I sneaked a look at my belly in profile in the mirror.
I formed a relationship with this harsh part until it learned over time to soften, relax, and trust me. I learned that it wanted (desperately) to ensure that I would be loved, accepted, looked-after, and honoured for the divine feminine being it knows I am.
Through my quest to fiercely love my body no matter how she looks, I have learned to release many burdens, both from my lifetime, and from before my life. I’ve let go of generation upon generation of programming. That programming told me I need to wait for a man to take care of me. It told me that, while I wait, my task is to make myself look as desirable and becoming as possible to up my chances of getting the best man I can – the one that would fulfil my deepest needs for love and security.
As I gradually approach my next decade and my body softens (alright, sags…), and my face wrinkles, I am deeply grateful that I have found my freedom. My critical part now sits purring within, relaxed and happy that the love and acceptance it so wildly wanted for me for so many years seems to now be flowing in abundance.
P.S. As you may know, my mission is to use my creative and therapy gifts and learnings to heal the way we eat and experience our body-image as a human family, and I practice tenderly encouraging us all to release guilt and shame related to the way we eat, and the way we look.
I have some free offerings along these lines. Please do share this post or the following link with anyone who may be seeking healing and relief in this area:
Follow this link to receive the guide I created for releasing food-shame burdens … and scroll down to book a free complimentary session with me.
I host free one-day courses for Food & Body Freedom. Here are more details and the opportunity to sign up:
I look forward to connecting with those seeking joy, fun, inspiration, and healing with food and for our beautiful bodies.
With love and gratitude for this space to share,